Morning Humor

Most of my blogs this far tend to be deep and reflective of what God is teaching me, so today I thought I would mix it up a little and post something a little more comedic. Sometimes we tend to get caught up in the seriousness of life that we forget to laugh, and God gave me a reminder of that this morning. I wanted to share with you my thought process during this particular morning in hopes to lighten your mood. ūüôā

Morning Thoughts:

5-something in the morning: OH MY GOSH I HAVE TO PEE!!! *Jumps up from coma-like sleep and stumbles to the bathroom, realize my nose is completely stopped up, and then stumbles into kitchen to get some nose spray. See a dark shadow in driveway that I assume is Brandon’s Tahoe (I of course didn’t have my contacts in and was still half asleep), then stumble back to the bedroom and call Brandon. “Brandon, are you in the driveway?” “Yes…” “Okay goodnight.”

6:35: Brandon is coming to bed.¬†I don’t have to take Autumn to daycare today, my lunch is ready, I’m going to sleep 20 more minutes…*Back to deep sleep*

6:55:¬†Man I still feel dizzy from sleeping so hard. I wonder if my blood sugar was high last night…

6:57: Crap! What am I thinking?!?! I DO have to take Autumn to day care today!!

7:04:¬†My eyes are way to sleepy to put contacts in…

7:09: Oh I need to get the crockpot out to put supper in.

7:13:¬†I’ll just put my contacts in real quick; I don’t feel like wearing my contacts today.

7:16:¬†*Walking out the door*¬†I didn’t put the food in the crockpot when I turned it on!!!

7:23: *On the way to daycare*¬†“Autumn, do you not feel good honey?”

7:24: Why is she coughing this much?

7:25¬†Awe, she’s so cute loving on her Minnie doll…

7:26:¬†Oh my gosh she sounds horrible…

7:27:¬†“Autumn, PLEASE stop saying ‘no’…”

7:28:¬†Is she getting what I had? I really don’t want her to have to have breathing treatments…

7:29:¬†Seriously! I will lose my sanity if she keeps saying ‘no’!!!

7:30: *Tells daycare to keep an eye on her and call me if she keeps coughing*

7:32-7:49: Blank thoughts,¬†sooooo sleepy….

7:50:¬†I will make it…I will make it…I WILL make it…

7:59: Walking in the door to work like

Screen Shot 2016-06-16 at 9.42.24 PM

8:00:¬†Sitting at my desk like…

Screen Shot 2016-06-16 at 9.46.00 PM

I realized after typing all of that how crazy I must have looked rushing through my morning, and I cannot help but laugh at myself. Why do we mommas think we need to have it all together all the time? I am so guilty of this. I tend to want everything on a nice schedule, to stick to a daily routine, and keep everything in balance. I have to be reminded that there’s beauty in the unknown and the best adventures are unplanned.

Today mommas, give yourself some much needed grace. Our Father doesn’t expect you to be perfect, and He gives His grace so freely, so why do we not accept it more? Why do we beat ourselves up for the little things like forgetting to brush our child’s teeth that time, or rocking them to sleep too much, or not realizing they haven’t had a bath in 4 days (whoops…)? Guess what, they WILL survive. They WILL make it. And they WILL still turn out great! You’re doing the best you can do so just breathe and let it go. Tomorrow is a new day. ‚̧

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Coming Together

Just last night I was looking on Facebook and thought to myself, “God, there is so much evil and hate in the world. How are we to ever hope with our world in this condition?” Today He responded, “Your only hope is in Me. Your hope is I AM.”

In my relationship with God, every now and then He gives me these big “lightbulb” moments where all the details come together. I tend to see big picture and in the past I have tried to force the details. I am learning that, instead, God lets me see the big picture, then¬†He works out the details and my only job is to be obedient. In these moments, God tends to overwhelm me for about 10-15 minutes and my mind is flooded seeing how He has connected things over the past few years. This afternoon I experienced a huge light bulb moment for me.

Six years ago this month a promise was birthed in me, and I now realize this promise is actually coming true. I recently discovered my destiny, cause, and calling (as mentioned in the last blog). Constructed solely by God, I realized that my destiny, my purpose, is “to empower people to change the world for the better”. My cause is to “provide educational opportunities”. My calling is “to learn about others through teaching, writing, and research”. Over the past few months, God has started birthing ideas in me to reach out to others and provide opportunities for fellowship. I realized that I truly enjoy learning about other people and cultures and that God has really given me a heart for people. God has also given me a true love for people, something I had been praying for. All of the sudden, I realized that these ideas were aligning with my ministry and my whole destiny statement. Everything was finally coming together. And God gently whispered “promise fulfilled”.

Six years. Six years of waiting and developing, and now it is being fulfilled. It’s not perfect and has a long way to go, but it is beginning and it is beautiful. But, ah, I realized something this evening. The promise he birthed six years ago is actually twofold, dare I call it, a¬†double portion. Therefore, as one side begins, I have hope that the other side is not far behind. God is faithful, and He works in His own time because He knows best. He knows what we need, not what we want. Six years feels like such a long time, but what amazes me is the fact that yes, God revealed this to me six years ago, but He created this promise, developed it, long before I was ever born. He has always known my purpose. And wow is that amazing!

I finally see my hear of darkness coming into place with everything else. I realize now that that year was needed. Oh, how it was so desperately needed. It was literally a time of death. I had to let go of what I thought I wanted, of false dreams, and watch them die, watch them crumble into ash. My world was literally falling apart. But the thing is, that world I was living in was a world that I had constructed for¬†myself. God did not cause that to happen,¬†I did. I didn’t consult God but made my own way. I forced the details upon my own agenda. And I was absolutely miserable for it. So I had to be stripped of everything: my pride, my dignity, my broken dreams, and all my ideas of what I was. I had to die to myself. I had to learn, once again, how to make Christ not just my Savior, but my Lord. I had to let God rebuild me and give me my identity found¬†only from Him, not my circumstances, not from the people around me, and not the ideas I had built up in my head. Just God, God alone.

Boy, has it been amazing. I can’t even describe the joy and peace I have in my heart. It is truly indescribable. I am living in God’s grace and freedom now in a way I never thought possible. A huge part of that has been God leading us to a new church. In April we began going to Dublin Bible Church and it was the craziest thing. We walked in that Sunday and as soon as the music started I felt the Holy Spirit take over inside me as God whispered, “Your home”. I prayed that Brandon felt the same way because for me, it was a done deal. Our search was over. Thankfully he did, and that is our home now. The first Sunday we were there Pastor Chad started a new sermon series over Joshua and our conquest for abundant life. Every message had fed my soul and has left me thirsting for more. Interestingly enough, this past Sunday was the final sermon in the series. Although I was not there, I realized something tonight. I am finally living in the abundant life God has for me. No, I am not perfect my any means. Yes I still struggle and fail. However, I can honestly say with confidence that I am walking in the life God has for me. I yearn for Him, I long to seek His face, and I long for His heart. I am content with where I am in life. I am at peace. And I finally see His promises being fulfilled as He is planting me in ministry right where I am today. Yes, I tend to be a dreamer and see big picture, but what is amazing to me is to see God working out the details right in front of me as my ministry comes to life. Break Away Ministries is happening¬†right now. God is using me¬†right now where I am. And it’s insanely beautiful because¬†He is doing the work, not me. I am not forcing anything to happen, but am simply saying “Yes, Lord” with whatever details and instruction He gives. There are no words to describe the freedom this brings.

As a dear friend told me today, I am okay with waiting on the promises of God. For I know the longer it takes, God is making all of the pieces come together. The longer I wait, the more deeply rooted His work will be. Instant gratification shall not last, but with Christ being the foundation, with the work being deeply rooted in Christ, His promises will last. I am tired of temporary and fake. I long for the real and lasting. I long to live my life by the Gospel and bring love to a hurting and broken world. I am thankful for the work God has done and will do. I know He will finish His work in His time. For now, I am at peace. I am content to walk¬†in the abundant life God has for me. And dear hearts, I pray you too find this abundant life that only God can bring. ‚̧

Promises of God

“Instead of your shame you will have a double portion, And instead of humiliation they will shout for joy over their portion. Therefore they will possess a double portion in their land. Everlasting joy will be theirs.” (Isaiah 61:7 NASB)

I wanted to open this post with a Word from God, and this just happened to be the verse for the day on my Bible app. However, due to the nature of this blog, this verse is very fitting. During my senior year of high school God introduced this theme of double portion to me, and I found it fascinating. I felt like it was a promise He was going to weave into my story. Honestly, I have not thought about that for years until now. Reading Isaiah 61 we know about the affliction of the Israelites. However, even though this affliction was brought upon themselves by their own sin and disobedience, God was (and is) still faithful and promises to exact them, one of the ways is this double portion. It is fitting that I read this today because this afternoon God revealed to me how one of His promises to me is coming true in my life, and gives me hope for the future of more promises that are to come.

I have always been super careful in labeling something as a promise for God. I have not had very many of these in the course of my lifetime, but I have had a few that I know without a shadow of a doubt have come from Him. Some have been fulfilled and I am still waiting on others. One thing I am sure of, that God who began a work in me will finish it until completion (Philippians 1:6). Six years ago this month God birthed in me a promise. I had just returned from a life-changing mission trip and God spoke over me a promise, that He would be in women’s ministry, and that one day I would speak and write. Almost three years later, He gave this ministry a name, Break Away Ministries. I knew the purpose of this ministry would be to help women break away from their busyness, from being caught up in stress and frustration or whatever they were in, to spend time with the Lord and with each other. Time went by and it seemed like this promise would never be fulfilled. In fact, months ago I questioned whether or not I had heard from God correctly on this. Yet, over the past couple months, God has been doing some amazing things in my life, and three years later I see this promise coming true. I now see that God had to do some major work in my life to get me ready for this promise, and it has been worth the wait.

I have spoken briefly to certain people about the darkness I faced last year. For most of 2015 into the beginning of 2016 there was a darkness in my life. I was depressed and confused, lonely and miserable. The hardest thing I could not understand was¬†why. I remember talking to my husband one evening and he said to me, “I don’t understand why you’re so miserable-you’ve got everything you’ve ever wanted.” He was absolutely correct and that was the question I had been asking myself for months. For eight years of my life, EIGHT, I thought my purpose was to be a stay-at-home wife and mother. I got my 4-year degree, did the hard work and had my “back-up”, but I was finally living what I had dreamed about for EIGHT years. Except, it wasn’t at ALL what I had dreamed. I indeed was miserable, and I could not understand why.

That fall I made the decision to start looking for a job. I was tired of not having any money for our family to have some freedom to do things like eating out or going away on day trips. We paid the bills and nothing was ever cut off, but it was tighter than ever. Plus, I realized I just needed to get out of the house and be with adults. In December I got my first “big girl” job at Verizon and it seemed like a dream come true. At first, I was really excited and it seemed like everything was great, but it wasn’t and though the darkness lifted for a moment, I slipped into further darkness. I became very selfish and consumed. My life pretty much consisted of my sleeping, eating, and working and that was it, leaving my husband to do everything else. I started having health problems and was diagnosed as a diabetic, type 1, which meant I would be insulin-dependent for the rest of my life. I went through some major changes, but much to my surprise, did not fall apart. God gave me in early January my word for the year, “Held”, and He has continued to hold me throughout everything I’ve gone through this year. Still, my family life felt like it was falling to pieces. My marriage was strained and I never saw my precious daughter anymore. One Saturday at work I fell apart on my managers and realized I was done there. Immediately, I could actually physically feel a weight lifted off of me. I worked my last two weeks there and left, not knowing what the future held.

Exactly two weeks later I got information from a close source that there was a temporary position opening up at Georgia College, and just a week later I was offered the position. 25 days after leaving Verizon I was back working full time, a true miracle to me. I never could have imagined how crucial this position would be, but God appointed it perfectly and aligned it to His will and put me in the right place at the right time with the right people. He gave me an amazing boss who spent time with me furthering my leadership and mentoring me, and just in the past two months I have grown tremendously. While there, I spent a few weeks learning about myself: my personality, my values, and my strengths. Then, he worked with me to help me form¬†my destiny statement. He explained to me that a destiny statement basically explains your purpose. You’re a Christian and you are here to do God’s will, to further His Kingdom, but¬†how are¬†you going to do that. I knew that God¬†uniquely designed me for a purpose, but I had never spent a whole lot of time looking into what this meant for me. Sure, I had ideas of things I wanted to do, but those were mostly constructed by the environments I had been in and people I was around. For about three weeks we worked on this. He explained to me that your destiny statement is made up of three parts: destiny (why), cause (be), and calling (do). I had to find out why I am here, who I am to be, and what am I called to do. After a long process, God finally revealed to me the specific wording of these and I knew it was perfect when it was finished.

I’ve been mulling this over for a couple of weeks since the completion and have thought to myself, “Okay, God. What next? Let’s see what you do with this.” Since then I have had some struggles and one night had gotten down. My soul just felt heavy and so I cried out to God, “When will Your promises be fulfilled? Lord, I’m so tired of waiting. It feels like this will never come true.” He softly encouraged me and I became at peace again, but there was still a longing in my heart…

*For the continuation, please see the following blog, “Coming Together”