Renewal (09.24.17)

In the 13th year, on the 9th day, of the 14th hour, I began to prepare the place of my memorial to the Lord. I began by praying to the Lord, and then read Joshua 3 and 4. I cleared a space against the tree and laid the 9 bricks to form my altar to the Lord – 9 for the number God gave me as a promise long ago that was founded in His speaking of Genesis 9:13 to me. It also just happened to be 9 days into my 13th year of salvation. These numbers remind me of a great promise He gave me years ago, and of His faithfulness He gives us in the rainbow from Genesis 9:13.

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Next I gathered the 5 jars that represented the 5 idols of my life, idols that had only recently been revealed to me. I have spent the majority of my life obsessing over these 5 idols, consumed with them and all they represent to me, and I knew they must be destroyed.

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I then took up my pen and paper and wrote my letter of repentance to God, for Him alone to know. I laid it upon the altar and lit it on fire to be consumed for the Lord while reading Joshua 4:24 aloud: “that all the peoples of the earth may know that the hand of the Lord is mighty, so that you may fear the Lord your God forever”. I then read it a second time, this time replacing “you” with “I” and “your” with “my”.

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By this time the letter had been consumed and I gazed upon the jars which I had filled with water. The read, “My plans”, “My dreams”, “My education”, “My career”, and “My MIND” – this last one was the driving force between the other idols and had been my most treasured idol, so it was the biggest jar. One by one I took each jar and poured it onto the altar. The ashes of the letter were washed away, and I continued this process until all the jars were empty, for to be filled we must first be empty.

With the idols now dry of any and all investments I once had in them, I again laid them on the altar, one by one, and destroyed each with the hammer, praying with each movement I took.

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With the idols now destroyed, I opened up the Word and read Matthew 26:26-28 and took communion before the Lord, for I now understood my spiritual position. I then played “Have It All” and worshipped before the Lord, singing aloud in that place, praising Him for all He has done and for this season of renewal.

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I named the place ἀνακαινόω (anakainoō), which is Greek for “renew”. In Greek this means to renew, to restore, to bring back; make new; restore. Whenever I see this place, I will know my inner self is being renewed day by day (2 Corinthians 4:16), and I will know the hand of the Lord is mighty so that I may fear the Lord my God forever (Joshua 4:24). For I will speak of this place forever as a physical representation of how God has moved in my life. This is the place where I was washed in God’s grace. This is the place where destruction became renewal. This is the place that speaks of what the Lord has done.

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Oh praise Him, praise Him forever!

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Renewal (Intro.)

“A time to tear apart and a time to sew together; a time to be silent and a time to speak.”   – Ecclesiastes 3:7 NASB

If you keep up with my blog at all, you’ve probably noticed it’s been a while since I have posted anything. All summer long I have wanted to write, but I have felt like something was preventing me, like there was this wall up. There were several times I would sit down to write and nothing would come. Other times I would start writing a post, but would be lost minutes later. Then, about halfway through summer, I read this verse and realized that I was in a season of silence. I honestly didn’t know when this season would end, but I tried to be patient and hang on through the season until I became released to speak (which is writing for me) again.

Today, just days into the Fall season, my release has come and I enter into a time to speak. You see, a few weeks ago, God revealed to be that in my heart I had been guilty of idolatry. Those idols had to be destroyed, or as the verse above says, torn apart. This was the reason for my season of silence.

But nine days ago I entered my 13th year of salvation, and I knew on that day that these idols had been destroyed, yet there was a deep yearning in my heart to do some sort of physical representation of this. I could feel God moving, but doing something on that level was completely unknown to me. I knew I was to build a memorial, but I didn’t know how or from what, and so I begin to pray for God to guide me and show me what to do, and I promised obedience in return.

Then today came, and today I heard one of the most convicting sermons ever in my life. It was exactly what I needed to hear, but still made my soul so heavy. I knew I would need time to process the words I had heard and all that God was moving in my soul.

After arriving home I got Autumn settled for a nap and went outside to cut grass and clean my head to prepare my heart for what I was about to do. I prayed again for God to show me how to build a memorial for Him, and when He answered I grabbed what was needed and began to build my memorial for Him…

*Read my next post “Renewal (09.24.17)” to see what happens next!