I believe that everything happens for a reason, and nothing happens by “coincidence”. I believe we are all part of a story that God has so eloquently written for our lives. I believe we still have free will, and make choices, but that God already knows the choices we will make. Oh, how He wants great things for us, just as any loving Father wants great things for His children (Matthew 7:11), but sometimes we don’t always see what we are going through as “great”.
Last Sunday, exactly one week ago from today, I made the decision that beginning on Thursday (December 1) I would give up social media for at least the month of December. My reason being that I am currently in a “wait and see” (see last blog for info.) and don’t want to miss what God has for me, as well as an attempt to be more present with my family, which is more important that SnapChats and Instagram posts this Christmas season. That being said, I have known since last Sunday that I would make this decision, and so far had has only 3 full days without social media. Only 3 days that is, and yet already I can feel a difference. It’s still not easy, but as of the first night I slept more soundly than I have in I can’t remember when, a pattern that is still continuing.
So that’s why my body woke me up like clockwork at 5:45 this morning (that and I accidentally fell asleep about 8:30 last night so when you sleep for 9 hours in a row you probably should be waking up). I fought it for a few minutes but then decided it would be nice to have some silence in the house before Brandon and Autumn woke up for me to “get things done”. Only God quickly reminded me that today is our Sabbath Day and that I was to just sit and spend time with Him, not to mention while I did that I could put some ice on my foot and rest since that’s the purpose of Sabbath anyway. Well played God, I thought to myself, and grabbed my Bible, my study book, and pencils and headed to the couch. I’m ashamed to say I haven’t opened this particular study in weeks, but I started reading through the pages and when I came to one particular passage of scripture I decided to stop and look it up in my own Bible translation to see how it would read. Then the very last verse from this passage stood out like a lighthouse on a dark and stormy sea: “Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:16 NASB). As soon as I read it I realized this is what God has been trying to teach me all week. In fact, let me give you a little play-by-play of how this week has gone:
Monday (1 day after being obedient and making this decision to fast from social media): God pours an enormous amount of thoughts into me on the way to work, for which I am hugely grateful. I think I have gotten my word for next year, which surprises me because I usually don’t get that until January or February, but okay cool.
Tuesday: I begin the process of wasting entirely too much time on social media, knowing it will “end” in 2 days.
Wednesday: I get myself ready to give up social media. I tell my small group and post this great blog called “Wait and See” to explain why I am doing this crazy gesture of giving up social media. I stay up until 11:58, falling asleep as I scroll through social media for the “last time” before finally deleting all of the apps on my phone.
Thursday: It feels weird not waking up by looking through Facebook, or checking Snapchat, so I decide to just get up already and I end up leaving for work almost 20 minutes earlier than usual so I go to Starbucks and get a FREE Starbuck’s Venti Iced Caramel Macchiato with fat-free milk and extra caramel drizzle (I’m sorry but did I mention FREE???). I get to work and get my day ready, nice and calm, not stressed, slightly annoyed at how much time I waste in the morning on social media. Several times throughout the day I tray to take a Snapchat or think of something funny to say on Facebook, and try to do mindless scrolling on everything. I whine to my community group (shoutout to y’all for being so amazing and patient) about not having social media. But right before I fall asleep something interesting happens: we have more money in our checking account than I have logged in my budgeting book. I try to figure this out for about 20 minutes and end up falling asleep.
Friday: I wake right on up and realized I’ve had a wonderful night of sleep, and think about how I actually wake up better and faster without social media. Go figure! I get ready and spend about 15 minutes trying to figure out my budgeting error but give up, only having partially figured out what went wrong. I go to work and do slightly better (but not much), mostly due to the fact that I had an enormous amount of work to do. That afternoon I decide to look at my budget and check log one last time and finally find ALL the errors and got us balanced up. And for the first time EVER I actually found unspent money. It was truly a mistake on my on part since all of our transactions really had cleared. God had provided a way for us to pay all the bills on time. That night we have our Supper Club Christmas party and I actually feel more involved not constantly checking my phone and had a great time.
Saturday: I take a few pictures as we work on the house but slowly don’t even think about “posting” anything. I go to check the mail and find the huge bill I’ve been dreading that is due January 1, but I also find my retirement refund check I’ve been waiting for for over a month to come in, and it is significantly larger that I had anticipated. Actually, to be completely honest, it was only $60 less that the huge bill that had came in. I screamed for joy and gave many thanks of praise unto God as it felt like an anvil had been lifted from my shoulders.
Sunday: After waking up after a 3rd night of complete sleep and rest, I do some Bible study and realize how much God is pouring into me and start writing this blog.
If you read “Wait and See” you know what a huge answered prayer some of these things really are, both financially and spiritually. God pulled through yesterday with this check and with the “found” money on Friday. The cool thing is how by not having this money sooner God protected me and kept me from Black Friday and Cyber Monday shopping. I finally surrendered, and obeyed, and asked God with pure motives to provide this week on Wednesday (as He instructed last Sunday), and oh how HE provided! I asked Him for spiritual guidance in some matters (some of which I can discuss in a later blog) and He really overflowed my cup on those and my heart is just in awe of my Heavenly Father right now.
If you go back and read the verses before 16 in Hebrews 4, there’s a lot of great stuff there, but one of the things the author writes in verse 15 is that we have a high priest in Jesus, “who has been tempted in all things we are, yet without sin.” I stopped and realized that a lot of time I don’t cling to Scripture like I should, and I don’t let God hold me, leaning on Him for things like I need to. Do I really believe that I can come to God with confidence and receive mercy and find grace? Do I really believe that God has ALL wisdom and guidance and has been temped in ALL things, to where He can pour perfect insight into my life? I think part of me has doubted those things in the past, but just by taking a step in being obedient unto God, He gave me so many wonderful gifts this week, more than I could have even imagined in different ways than I would have thought, but I am even more grateful for these.
I don’t think it was just a “coincidence” that I lost money during the two biggest “sale” days of the year, but still found the money in time to pay the bills I needed to pay. I don’t think it is a coincidence that I read this passage of Scripture in a book I haven’t picked up in weeks, at 6AM this morning after having this particular week. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I am writing the last thoughts of this I hear Autumn sweetly call for “Mommy!”. I do, however, believe God, instead, holds for us a much greater life than we choose to live in 90% of the time. I believe we can walk in abundant life and hold fast to His word and abide in Him always and we will see just how much we are missing out on before with all of the distractions of life.
Does this mean everything is going to go right all of the time and life will just be perfect? Absolutely not. But God already gave us what we need to press on, we just have to make sure we use it.